Into the deep surface

Over a forest made of one-dimensional trees,
next to the crackling of the exterminated plains of metal,
rising, from the horizon, rectangular clusters of liquid, boiling light,
silhouetting against a sky of beating, pale meat,
source and outfall of the rivers of digital blood,
through the human mountains that surround everything.

[italian version]

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2 Responses to Into the deep surface

  1. Pepes says:

    ForestS plurale, quindi l’articolo -a- non ci va. E over non credo sia adatto, sarebbe meglio “apart from”.

    E dovresti ricostruire tutta la frase col genitivo per renderla meno pesante: Apart from one-dimensional trees’ forests

    Pianure di metallo: metal’s plains

    Fiumi di sangue digitale: digital blood’s rivers (altrimenti ogni 2 parole metti of of of…)

    Cancella pure i commenti dopo! ah, sto guardando solo la traduzione senza tener conto di eventuali rime/assonanze..

  2. Prepuzio says:

    Grazie. I commenti vanno benissimo. Ad eterno monitor.

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